TITLE: A Man Apart
AUTHOR: Kristen K2
SUMMARY: Maybe he was giving her the only gift he could.
A prequel to Phantom Pain (which can be found here:
http://lzl.dreamhost.com/ExtFamily/Kristen/K2-Phantom.html).
KEYWORDS: Kim Cook, Jeff Spender.
RATING: soft R
DISCLAIMER:  The characters herein belong to 1013 and Fox.
ARCHIVE: Anywhere, just ask first.
FEEDBACK: Why surely! k2_fanfic@yahoo.com
NOTES: My response to the HaremXF Mistletoe Challenge. I stretched it from
155 words to over 400. Also, I don't think the stories were supposed to be
angsty, but there you go. Beta thanks to Livia Balaban and G-EMs.

+++++

"Looks like I missed quite a party," he said across the empty room.

Kim didn't look up from the littered conference table, an eggnog-soaked
napkin in one hand and a trash bag in the other.

"You did."

"And now you're mad at me."

"No." Hearing the curtness in her own tone made her wince; really, he hadn't
done anything to earn her ire. She knew he didn't like office functions, but
she'd still been foolish enough to hope this year might be different. It was
their first one as a couple. "Okay, maybe a little disappointed."

"I'm sorry, Kim." The regret in his voice was clear; maybe it had been only
work that had kept him away. Maybe.

She gave him a forgiving smile as she walked past him on her way to throw
out the trash. He caught her elbow so they were standing in the doorway
together.

"Jeff--" she said cautiously.

"Ignoring mistletoe is bad luck," he said, the jovial tone he was aiming for
coming out stiff from his unsmiling mouth.

"So's getting written up," she shot back as his head dipped toward hers. He
stopped his movement, and sighed, glancing over her head briefly. She knew
even before he looked back at her that the hallway was deserted, but she
wasn't ready to kiss and make up. Not when he still looked like he was just
going through the motions.

"Jeff," she said, more gentle this time.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. His hand moved to the small of her back, fingers
splayed in that possessive-yet-tentative way he had. Inviting her closer but
not quite all the way in.

She didn't know why he did that. She tried, but she didn't understand him.
She didn't understand why he felt he had to prove himself so much, why he
kept himself so removed from everyone.

His hand was steady and warm through her blouse. Maybe this was all he was
capable of; he wasn't a cruel or thoughtless man, he was just...a man apart.
But he didn't keep himself apart from her, not entirely, and it was
Christmas Eve. Maybe he was giving her the only gift he could.

"Let's go home," she whispered, and his fingers tightened, just for a
moment, against her. His brown eyes were soft in the fading twilight,
familiar in their remote yearning. She'd know that gaze anywhere, she
realized, and she took comfort in the thought. She was the only one he
looked at like this.

That night, as he loved her in the dark, she remembered they'd left without
taking the mistletoe down from the doorway. But it was Christmas, and Jeff
was whispering her name into her hair, and she didn't let herself worry
about silly old wives' tales about bad luck.

END